Friday, November 6, 2009

♥ Love Barrier ♥

The relationship between man and woman is not as easy as you think. The obstacle that they encounter is like a sailing ship which has to pass thru the big rocks to be able to reach its destination.This is why people often says that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. They speak different 'language'. They have to be understanding one another to be able to sail on the same boat.

A few days ago, I was talking to my friend on Skype. She's a friend of mine that we met during our Chinese studies in Shanghai. Now, I'm already back in my home country but she still lives in Shanghai with her caucasian boyfriend. My friend is 27 of age, her boyfriend is a 42-years old American man. (I won't mention names)

Her boyfriend is a very emotional person. He always needs an 'emotional encouragement'. If he did something good, he wants everyone to praise him. From stories that my friend has been telling me each day, I can justify that he's a very romantic dude. He loves to come home with one day he brought roses and all kinds of gifts. My friend doesn't really fancy gifts & surprises as she thinks those craps are costly. Actually she wouldn't mind getting gifts and all if the man is filthy rich. But the thing is, he is not.

On other hand, my friend is the opposite of his characters. My friend was brought up in a thrifty environment, she doesn't like to splurge. She saves money..she's a good saver. She's very defensive, and she's getting more and more defensive since she has been living in Shanghai. She's more realistic than being a romantic woman.

They watch different movies, they eat different food, they like different things...until they realized that they have only a few things in common. All he needs is, a woman who can always support and encourage him emotionally even he did something wrong and someone who can always enjoy and indulge herself into some romantic fancy things. While my friend...she needs a man who has a financial sense to develop some sort of financial stability, less emotional and more realistic than being dreamy!

A few days ago, I was told that she finally broke up with her boyfriend. The reason of the break-up is because too many discrepancies between the two. She's not really the one that he would have wanted. He failed to turn her into someone he always wants. He's also not the one that she would have wanted and she failed to turn him into someone she has hoped. They expect different things in their relationship. They are like two love birds with different perspectives of life. They see things from different angle.

They did try though. They tried too hard to work on their relationship. He even wanted them to go to relationship counselor to consult about their mediocre relationship and seek into a warm and loving one. They spent too much time trying to change each other, they became frustrated until they hit the bottom line and they resorted to break up.

Well...everyone has their own love story. How about yours?
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  1. Nice writing...
    enjoy reading your writing so much....
    i agree that in relationship, we should not change each other, but accepting each other instead, be it is a weakness or a strength...
    whatever is it, that's the one which make your relationship special.... ^^



  2. Thanks again! :)

    Yes, it's true. I once read a book, and there's a line that says "we are not supposed to change someone, if you try to change means that you are not sincere to accept that person"

  3. Nice story and interesting example of life....
    Accepting each other is one hell important to do in a relationship thing....
    It is very important to understand and acknowledge who is the person you're in love to.. and make it part of your life.....
    it was also a 'deadful weapon' if it happened like story u're written...
    it would need not just time, but also mind, emotion, ego....

    but thats the essence of love...
    complicated yet interesting... ^^



  4. The essence of love....I like that! :)

  5. Hmm. Guess we all go thru these periods of trial and error at some stage of our life. Its kinda too optimistic thinking that someone wud change 4 u, though. It's bloody haaarrrddd
    cant remeber where i saw this cheeky statement but it goes something like this: husbands hope that their wives wont change, but they did - eg frm being lovely to nagging at all time lol and wives hope that their husbands wud someday change but that didnt happen - they juz dont listen.

  6. ola!
    greeting to lilaclavandre :)
    nice blog's name btw,
    not so into purple but i think i'll live with lavender :p
    so let's see this topic about love.. never-ending trial in man n woman..
    but i think love is love... u see these days people tend to focus more on problems, barriers, bla bla bla n bla bla bla again and again.. instead the energy shud be channel more to love love and LOVE.
    cause love dont cause barriers n problems, we created that.. love cause more love..
    so love more people :)

  7. Would like to share my love story, too =). Few days ago, I opened my Microsoft office OneNote where I sometimes write down my thoughts,etc. And I happened to see a page with the title of 'name of my ex'. It was written few days after I started the relationship with her. It has only simple and short sentence "need to remember how we can be in a's because she is the one who can sincerely accept me as I am.". So, for me, acceptance is the seed of love.

  8. Ola too! LOL

    I really loveee your comment..your piece of thought.

    However,Love should come from 2 sides of individual, which is from man and woman...or otherwise it will be just one-sided love and it will still create problems

  9. Hi Ronald...

    Yes i totally agree with you! Acceptance is the seed of love! i like that :)

    Thanks for sharing!

  10. I think there is more to "love" just like the song - Sumtimes love just ain't enough.

    Acceptance, compassion, willingness to be better for each other, appreciation, and last but not least feeling comfortable to speak out each other's opinions.

    but yeah nothing's perfect... so i think just be ourselvesss ~ find sumone that love us and can accept us for who we really are!

  11. Hi 'I-don't-know-who-you-are' (LOL)

    Yes, you are right! we have to find someone who loves us so s/he can accept us! but it is just harddd! I'm sure that most of you have the same experience when your boyfriend or girlfriend demand you to change...right?